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E-raamat: Stop Sex Addiction: Real Hope, True Freedom for Sex Addicts and Partners

  • Formaat: 310 pages, black & white line drawings, figures
  • Ilmumisaeg: 15-Mar-2013
  • Kirjastus: Central Recovery Press
  • ISBN-13: 9781937612245
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  • Formaat: 310 pages, black & white line drawings, figures
  • Ilmumisaeg: 15-Mar-2013
  • Kirjastus: Central Recovery Press
  • ISBN-13: 9781937612245

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Compulsive sexual behavior, or sex addiction, is often difficult to face. Sex addiction results in countless negative consequences and hurts many people. Relationships, marriages, families, and careers are destroyed by sexual addiction. Anyone afflicted with sex addiction, as well as the people who love them, can find help within this book, Sexual addiction is a growing menace that threatens all strata of our society. Millions of marriages and relationships have been ruined or severely damaged and countless reputations have been sacrificed on the altar of compulsive sexual behavior. Although not as well-known as other forms of addiction, such as chemical dependency, alcohol and gambling, sexual addiction is responsible for wrecking lives. Worldwide pornography revenues exceed $97 billion per year. United States annual pornography revenue exceeds the combined sales of ABC, CBS, and NBC. Written by a professional with over thirty years of counseling experience. The unique features of this book include: treatment ingredients; a focus on the trauma of partners; the mechanics of disclosure; the use polygraph exams as an adjunct to sex addiction therapy; the author's unique FASTT check-in procedure; the use of celebacy contracts; the partner's survival kit; and hallmarks of quality recovery and healthy sexuality.

Arvustused

"The most comprehensive text since Out of the Shadows. A must-read for every sex addict, their partner, and their family. Each page instills hope for those struggling with sexual addiction, while not minimizing the pain involved in the process. It will help newcomers and old-timers alike."--David L. Delmonico, Ph.D., Author, In the Shadows of the Net and Cybersex Unhooked "I've worked with many women who, along with their partner, have done a weekend intensive with Dr. Magness and I consistently see these marriages having higher success rates than those who don't utilize his services. I'm delighted that now, between the covers of this book, many more couples and individuals will be able to take advantage of his wisdom, experience and guidance as they grapple with sexual addiction in their lives and marriages. This is a must read for anyone who falls into that painful category, and for everyone who seeks to help others dealing with this issue in their lives. I often tell people this is only book they really need to read if they want to know about sexual addiction. It is the best 'bible' on the subject."--Marsha Means, MA, Author, Your Sexually Addicted Spouse and Living with Your Husband's Secret Wars

Preface xiii
Acknowledgments xv
Chapter 1 Sex Addiction in America
1(7)
What Is Sex Addiction?
5(3)
Chapter 2 Hierarchy of Sex Addiction
8(26)
Symptoms of Sex Addiction
15(2)
The Dangers of Anonymity
17(5)
Phone Sex
22(1)
A New Spin on Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
22(2)
Traditional Sites of Acting Out: Bookstores and Bathhouses
24(2)
Massage Parlors, Spas, Escort Services, and Related Businesses
26(2)
Sex Addiction Among Physicians, Clergy, Senior Executives, and Celebrities
28(5)
Treatment
33(1)
Chapter 3 Unsuccessful Cures
34(7)
Promises to Stop
35(1)
Become More Religious
36(1)
Geographical Cure
36(1)
Get into a Relationship or Get Married
37(1)
Get a Divorce or End a Relationship
37(1)
Cure It with a Pill
38(1)
Outgrow the Addiction
38(1)
Nip and Tuck
39(1)
Lingerie Cure
39(1)
Bedroom Gymnastics
39(1)
Other Things That Do Not Work
40(1)
Chapter 4 Addressed to the Sex Addict
41(11)
The Crisis
42(1)
Hope and Freedom for Both of You
43(1)
Immediate Steps Toward Hope and Freedom
44(8)
Chapter 5 Addressed to the Partner
52(22)
Why Does the Sex Addict Do It?
51(1)
It Is Not Your Fault
52(1)
How Then Can You Get Your Partner to Stop Acting Out Sexually?
53(2)
If My Partner Is a Sex Addict, Why Isn't He or She More Sexual with Me?
55(1)
Why Do They Continue to Pursue Other Avenues of Sexual Expression When It Appears They Have All That They Could Ask for Waiting at Home?
56(1)
Is He or She a Narcissist?
57(1)
Compulsive Masturbation
58(1)
How Can Masturbation Damage a Relationship Outside of the Sexual Realm?
59(1)
Promises, Lies, and More Promises
60(1)
Why Does He or She Lie (Even About Little Things)?
61(1)
Is It My Fault?
62(1)
Why Would Sex Addicts Return to Acting-Out Behavior When They Know That Such Behavior Is Damaging, Possibly Destroying Their Marriage or Intimate Relationship?
63(1)
Is Sex Addiction Compulsive or Impulsive?
64(1)
If My Partner Is a Sex Addict, Is There Any Hope for My Relationship?
65(2)
Is Addiction a Choice?
67(1)
Could My Partner Be Gay or Lesbian?
68(1)
But If Your Male Partner Is Heterosexual, How Do You Explain the Fact That He Has Been Sexual with Other Men?
69(2)
Your Trauma
71(1)
Am I a "Co-addict"?
72(2)
Chapter 6 Addressed to the Couple
74(3)
Chapter 7 Recovery Components
77(19)
Recovery Timetable
77(1)
Factors Affecting Treatment and Recovery
78(1)
Partner Participation in Recovery
79(1)
Recovery Phases
80(5)
Recovery Timeline
85(1)
Recovery Is Something a Person Does!
85(1)
Hallmarks of Quality Recovery
86(2)
Personal Recovery Plan
88(6)
A Special Message to the Deeply Religious
94(2)
Chapter 8 Disclosure
96(25)
What Is Disclosure?
97(5)
Disclosure, Hope & Freedom Style
102(5)
What Are the Benefits of Disclosure?
107(1)
The Most Important Component of Recovery
108(1)
Timing
108(1)
Preparation of the Partner
109(3)
Preparing a Disclosure Step-by-Step
112(4)
When Is It Not Advisable to Have a Disclosure?
116(1)
What About Those Circumstances Where the Spouse Truly Does Not Want to Know What the Husband or Wife Has Done?
116(1)
Questions from the Partner After the Disclosure
117(1)
Partner's Response to Disclosure
118(1)
Other Post-Disclosure Reactions
119(1)
To Separate or Not
119(2)
Chapter 9 Polygraph Exams as an Aid to Recovery
121(13)
Polygraph as an Aid to Disclosure
123(3)
Polygraph Protocol
126(1)
What Happens When a Sex Addict Fails a Polygraph Exam Following a Disclosure?
127(1)
What Should the Partner's Response Be if the Sex Addict Fails a Polygraph Exam?
128(3)
He or She Passed the Polygraph Exam: Now What?
131(1)
Misuse of Polygraph Exams
132(2)
Chapter 10 The Particulars of Polygraph Use in Sex Addiction Therapy
134(13)
Interview with a Polygraph Examiner
136(11)
Chapter 11 The Use of Celibacy Contracts
147(8)
Celibacy Contract Structure and Terms
151(4)
Chapter 12 The Partner's Journey Toward Recovery: Stop the Crazy Train!
155(20)
Recovery Begins with Awareness
155(2)
Behaviors Surrounding the Suspected Sex Addict's Work
157(1)
Behaviors Surrounding Appearance
157(1)
Behaviors Surrounding Cell Phone and Other Mobile Information Technology Use
158(1)
Behaviors Surrounding Your Communication
159(1)
Behaviors Surrounding Your Partner's Use of Time
159(1)
Behaviors Surrounding Money
159(1)
Behaviors Surrounding Computer Use
160(1)
Behaviors Surrounding Sex
161(1)
Confrontation and Intervention
162(2)
Strive to Become an Expert
164(1)
Set Healthy Boundaries
164(1)
Contemplating the Possibility of Life on Your Own
165(1)
Protect Yourself Financially
166(2)
The Wounded You: Addressing Your Trauma
168(1)
Stress or Trauma?
169(3)
What About Forgiveness?
172(3)
Chapter 13 Partner's Survival Kit---Post-Disclosure
175(6)
Trauma Triggers
176(2)
Assembling Your Survival Kit
178(2)
Beyond Your Kit
180(1)
Chapter 14 Survey Results: Things That Helped Partners Heal
181(24)
A Note to Male Sex Addicts
186(19)
Chapter 15 Slips and Relapses in Recovery
205(12)
Are Slips and Relapses Inevitable?
207(1)
What Is the Difference Between a Slip and a Relapse?
208(2)
Levels of Care (LOC) in Treatment
210(4)
Consequences of a Slip or Relapse
214(3)
Chapter 16 A Blueprint for Rebuilding Broken Trust
217(21)
How Do You Rebuild Trust?
218(2)
FASTT Check-in Process
220(5)
The Partner's Response
225(2)
FASTT Weekly Check-in Format
227(2)
Follow-up Polygraph Exams
229(2)
Healing Specific to Marriages Where the Husband Is a Sex Addict
231(3)
What Else Does She Need?
234(3)
Do Not Settle
237(1)
Chapter 17 Survey Results: Factors That Helped Restore Trust
238(25)
Chapter 18 What About Sex?
263(4)
Protect Yourself
263(1)
Sexual Anorexia
264(1)
Intimacy vs. Intensity
265(1)
Professional Help
266(1)
Chapter 19 Survey Results: Additional Comments from Partners
267(17)
Chapter 20 When Is It Time to Move On?
284(7)
When the Sex Addict Refuses Help
286(2)
The Relationship Is Over. What Went Wrong?
288(3)
Chapter 21 Closing Message
291(3)
Recovery Is an Adventure
291(3)
APPENDIX A Intensive Treatment Programs Offered at Hope & Freedom Counseling Services and by Certified Hope & Freedom Practitioners (CHFP)
294(6)
APPENDIX B Resource Guide
300(9)
Twelve-Step Programs Dedicated to Helping Sex Addicts
300(1)
Twelve-Step Programs Dedicated to Helping the Spouses and Partners of Sex Addicts
300(1)
Twelve-Step Programs Dedicated to Helping Couples
300(1)
Intensive Outpatient Sex Addiction Treatment Programs
301(1)
Inpatient Sex Addiction Treatment Centers
302(1)
Websites for Therapists Who Specialize in Sex Addiction
303(1)
Christian-Based Workshops
303(1)
Sex Addiction Recovery-Related Websites
304(2)
Twelve-Step Programs for Other Compulsive Behaviors and Forms of Addiction
306(1)
Additional Web-Based Resources
307(2)
The Twelve Steps of Sex Addicts Anonymous 309(1)
Bibliography and Suggested Reading 310(3)
Endnotes 313
Milton Magness, D. Min., MA, LPC, CSAT, is the founder and director of Hope & Freedom Counseling Services in Houston. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. He served five terms as the president of the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), the international professional organization for sexual addiction therapists. Dr. Magness has led national workshops on cybersex addiction and has conducted a multistate research study that focused on cybersex behavior and recovery among self-identified sex addicts. Prior to becoming a therapist he was a pastor for twenty years. He holds the following advanced degrees: Doctor of Ministry from Luther Rice Seminary; Master of Arts in Psychology from Houston Baptist University, and Master of Arts in Religious Education from Southwestern Seminary. Dr. Magness is a native of Houston, Texas where he resides.