A behind-the-scenes look into the highs and lows of life as a psychiatrist – think Adam Kay’s This is Going to Hurt for psychiatry.
Breakdowns, Breakthroughs and Benzodiazepines chronicles the tumultuous life of a London psychiatrist who has worked in both public and private practice. Consultant Mark Silvert shares his personal mental health journey – from battling health anxiety to struggling with impostor syndrome – alongside patients’ stories, in a book brimming with hope, resilience and humour. His story will resonate with anyone who has been on a mental health journey of their own, or who has experienced impostor syndrome on their way to success in their careers.
Mark says, “This book offers readers solace in a shared experience, showing them that they are not alone in their mental health struggles. It serves as proof that mental health challenges need not be insurmountable obstacles to success. From anxiety and obsessive thinking, to job rejection and impostor syndrome, this is the story of how I have moved forward despite challenges to become one of London’s leading psychiatrists.”
Chapter 1: Struggling
My belief is that I cant do enough to help alleviate other peoples
mental/emotional suffering.
Chapter 2: Studying
I made it to medical school through sheer willpower. I refocused on my one,
most important goal I was going to be a doctor.
Chapter 3: Graduating
My (mis)belief is that Im not a good enough doctor to help alleviate other
peoples mental/emotional suffering.
Chapter 4: Daytime
I thought becoming a psychiatrist would finally make me finally feel at ease.
I didnt expect to feel like an impostor even when I got there.
Chapter 5: Nighttime
Grueling night shifts. The mental health of every patient during the night
was in my charge. Each night, I was technically responsible for the wellbeing
of the entire region of London covered by the hospital. The sanity and safety
of nearly a million people were in my (rather clammy) 26-year-old hands.
Chapter 6: Children<
Working as a psychiatrist in a child and adolescent ward was a job I
absolutely loved. The ward was both a sad and hopeful place. A lot of the
children there had been abused but there was relief in knowing they were
somewhere safe where they were getting support. Compared to the intensity of
the A&E, the childrens ward was a breeze.
Chapter 7: Eating
The midpoint triggers a spark of confidence in my ability to help alleviate
other peoples mental/emotional suffering. My new belief is that maybe I can
help alleviate other peoples mental/emotional suffering.
Chapter 8: Promoting
My time on the psychiatric intensive care unit a high-security version of a
hospital ward, double air-locked, with specially trained staff. I was hungry
to take the next step: I was ready to become a consultant, the final rung on
the career ladder in the NHS. All I had to do was nail the interview.
Chapter 9: Leaving
I knew I could create a better future, if not in the NHS, then out of it. I
wanted to set up my own clinic. To treat patients in the way they deserve. I
knew it was time to leave.
Chapter 10: Money
Moving from being a big fish in a small pond to a small fish in a big pond:
the world of private practice.
Chapter 11: Lawyers
Several situations with patients escalated into legal issues that made me
question everything I had held true. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was a bad
doctor after all maybe I shouldnt be a psychiatrist.
Chapter 12: Steering
I am finally confident that I am both able and meant to help alleviate other
peoples mental/emotional suffering.
Mark Silvert is a consultant psychiatrist with over two decades of experience in the NHS and a successful private practice in London. His credentials include a Harvard Medical School Clinical Fellowship and research publications, and he has served as a guest lecturer in eating disorders at King's Medical School. He regularly contributes to newspapers and mental health journals globally, including a column in HuffPost and features in Tatler and The Times.
