A funny collection of football poems by Brian Bilston, the unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter. Perfect for football fans of all ages – from the young footie fanatic to a been-to-every-game-grandma, and every 'I could've been a pro' in between.
Full of poems that will make you giggle about all things football, including being left out of the World Cup squad, mum's opinion on Messi vs Ronaldo, or those unmissable fixtures:
I’d love nothing more than to go outside
and spend time with Mother Nature.
But what can I do? It’s out of my hands:
Nigeria are playing Croatia
50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems includes witty chants, a haiku or two, and fun shape poems about the beautiful game. Laugh together through the Euros or Premier League games, and swap the half-time pundits for puns!
'Bilston is a magician with words' – Guardian
'Someone who knows their way round both a joke and a bittersweet narrative.' – The Times
Muu info
A hilarious and brilliant poetry collection from bestselling poet and Twitter laureate, Brian Bilston.
Chapter - 1: Kick-Off
Chapter - 2: Football Is...
Chapter - 3: Pick Me!
Chapter - 4: Trevor
Chapter - 5: An Educated Left Foot
Chapter - 6:
Formations
Chapter - 7: The Laws of the Game
Chapter - 8: Wonderkid
Chapter -
9: The Intergalactic Super Cup Final
Chapter - 10: Fifty Ways to Score a Goal
Chapter - 11: Fifty Slow Motion Replays
Chapter - 12: The Language of
Football
Chapter - 13: Keepie-Uppies
Chapter - 14: On the Bench
Chapter - 15:
The Thing about Wingers
Chapter - 16: A Suggestion
Chapter - 17: O.G
Chapter
- 18: Total Football
Chapter - 19: Football Haikus: Starting
Chapter - 20:
Matchday
Chapter - 21: A Cautionary Tale
Chapter - 22: Early Morning
Goalkeeping Routine
Chapter - 23: A Shaggy Dog Story
Chapter - 24: Lucky
Bobble Hat
Chapter - 25: Honest Football Chants
Chapter - 26: Transfer List
Chapter - 27: Fixtures
Chapter - 28: League Table
Chapter - 29: A Football
Squad of Collective Nouns
Chapter - 30: Half-Time Orange Satsuma
Chapter -
31: A Poem of Two Halves
Chapter - 32: A Ball Speaks Out
Chapter - 33: The
Magic 18-Yard Box
Chapter - 34: The Ballad of Dick, Kerr Ladies FC
Chapter -
35: Seasons Greetings
Chapter - 36: Acrostic Town FC: Matchday Squad
Chapter
- 37: In Pursuit of Glory
Chapter - 38: Ten Ways to Avoid Passing the Ball to
Anybody
Chapter - 39: FIFA
Chapter - 40: Two Varieties of Potato
Chapter -
41: Unsung Hero
Chapter - 42: It All Came Out in the Wash
Chapter - 43: The
Magic Sponge
Chapter - 44: And the Award Goes to . . .
Chapter - 45: Match
of the Day Theme: Official Lyrics
Chapter - 46: Kit
Chapter - 47: On Being
Left Out of the England World Cup Squad
Chapter - 48: Messi vs Ronaldo
Chapter - 49: Life Cycle of a Football Manager
Chapter - 50: Every Day is
Like a Cup Final
Chapter - 51: Back of the Net
Chapter - 52: Gabriel Gómez,
Number 543
Chapter - 53: End of Term Report
Chapter - 54: Dangerous Dave
Damage
Chapter - 55: The War on Cliché
Chapter - 56: Penalty Shoot-Out
Chapter - 57: Todays Results
Chapter - 58: Question Time
Chapter - 59: Until
the Final Whistle Blows
Chapter - 60: Post-Book Analysis
Brian Bilston has been described as the Banksy of poetry and Twitters unofficial Poet Laureate. With over 100,000 followers across all social media platforms, including J. K. Rowling, Roger McGough, Ian Rankin and Grayson Perry, Brian has become truly beloved by the Twitter community. His work includes the poetry collection You Took the Last Bus Home, his first novel Diary of a Somebody which was shortlisted for the Costa Prize, and his collection Alexa, what is there to know about love? is full of poems about love in all its forms.
