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Part I Theoretical and Empirical Background |
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1 Introduction to Mindful Parenting |
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3 | (12) |
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1.1 Why Parenting Can Be Stressful |
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3 | (1) |
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1.2 Why Mindful Parenting Can Help |
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4 | (2) |
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1.3 The Evolution of the Mindful Parenting Course |
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6 | (7) |
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1.3.1 The First Steps: Mindful Parenting for Parents of Youth Who Take a Mindfulness Course -- Susan's Story |
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6 | (2) |
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1.3.2 Mindful Parenting as a Course on Its Own |
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8 | (2) |
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1.3.3 Compassion, Loving Kindness, and Mindful Parenting -- Kathleen's Story |
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10 | (1) |
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1.3.4 Schema Modes and Mindful Parenting |
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11 | (2) |
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1.4 Organization of This Book |
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13 | (1) |
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1.5 Note About Personal Examples |
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14 | (1) |
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2 An Evolutionary Perspective on Parenting and Parenting Stress |
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15 | (26) |
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2.1 Introduction: Why Take an Evolutionary Perspective on Parenting and Mindfulness? |
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15 | (1) |
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2.2 Sources of Our Parenting Stress |
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16 | (15) |
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2.2.1 Raising a Human Child to Maturity Takes a Lot of Resources |
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16 | (1) |
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2.2.2 Shared Care: Mothers Have Always Needed Help with Childcare |
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17 | (11) |
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2.2.3 Evolution of Our Affect Regulation Systems: Threat, Drive, and Contentment |
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28 | (3) |
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2.3 Evolutionary Perspectives on Attachment |
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31 | (6) |
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2.3.1 Neuroendocrine Basis of Attachment |
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32 | (1) |
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2.3.2 Implications for Modern Parenting |
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32 | (1) |
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2.3.3 How Can Mindfulness Help? |
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33 | (1) |
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2.3.4 Intergenerational Transmission of Attachment |
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33 | (1) |
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2.3.5 Implications of Attachment Research for Modern Parenting: A Silver Lining? |
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34 | (1) |
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2.3.6 How Can Mindfulness Help? |
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35 | (1) |
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2.3.7 Evolution of Multiple Attachment Relationships |
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35 | (1) |
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2.3.8 Implications for Modern Parenting |
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36 | (1) |
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2.4 Evolution of Empathy, Cooperation, and Compassion: Gifts from Our Ancestors |
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37 | (4) |
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2.4.1 Compassion and Cooperation in the NYC Subway |
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38 | (1) |
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2.4.2 Final Thoughts: Evolution, Compassion, and Mindfulness |
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39 | (2) |
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3 Effects of the Mindful Parenting Course |
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41 | (10) |
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3.1 Study 1: Effects of the First 10 Groups |
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42 | (2) |
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3.2 Study 2: Effects of the Next 10 Groups |
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44 | (1) |
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3.3 Study 3: Effects of the Last Group, Using the Present Mindful Parenting Program |
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45 | (2) |
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3.4 Conclusions and Future Research on Mindful Parenting |
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47 | (4) |
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Part II Mindful Parenting: A Guide to the 8 Week Program |
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4 Overview of the Mindful Parenting Program |
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51 | (30) |
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51 | (1) |
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4.2 Overview of the Themes and Practices of Mindful Parenting |
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52 | (5) |
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4.2.1 Summary of the Themes of Each Session |
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55 | (2) |
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57 | (1) |
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4.3 Newer Elements to the Program |
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57 | (5) |
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4.3.1 Compassion Practices in Mindful Parenting |
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57 | (2) |
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4.3.2 A Note About Loving-Kindness Meditation |
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59 | (1) |
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4.3.3 Schema Modes and Mindful Parenting |
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60 | (2) |
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4.3.4 Do We Need the Schema Concept in Mindful Parenting? |
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62 | (1) |
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4.4 Qualifications of the Teacher |
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62 | (5) |
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4.4.1 The Importance of Your Own Mindfulness Practice |
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62 | (3) |
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4.4.2 The Stance of the Mindfulness Teacher |
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65 | (2) |
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4.5 Bringing a Mindful Stance into the Everyday Nitty-Gritty of Child Rearing |
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67 | (2) |
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4.6 What About Parents Teaching Mindfulness to Their Children? |
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69 | (1) |
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4.7 Who Is the Mindful Parenting Course for? |
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70 | (1) |
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4.8 Preparing the Participants: Initial Meeting with the Family |
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71 | (2) |
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4.9 Size and Composition of the Group |
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73 | (1) |
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4.10 Preparing for the Group Session |
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73 | (1) |
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4.11 Holding the Group Learning Process |
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74 | (1) |
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4.12 Guiding the Meditation Practices and Yoga |
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75 | (1) |
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4.13 Relationship of Mindful Parenting to Buddhism |
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76 | (1) |
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4.14 Structure of This Manual |
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77 | (1) |
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4.15 Cookbook and Flexibility |
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77 | (2) |
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79 | (2) |
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5 Session 1: Automatic Parenting |
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81 | (28) |
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Being Mode Versus Doing Mode |
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82 | (2) |
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What Happens When We Teach Mindfulness in the Family Context? |
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84 | (1) |
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84 | (17) |
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1 Getting Started: First Meditation |
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85 | (1) |
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85 | (4) |
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89 | (1) |
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4 Stepping Out of Automatic Pilot: Eating a Raisin Mindfully |
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89 | (3) |
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5 Morning Stress Exercise (Rationale for the Mindful Parenting Course) |
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92 | (3) |
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95 | (1) |
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95 | (4) |
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8 Review of Home Practice |
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99 | (1) |
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99 | (2) |
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Handout 5.1 Practice for the Week After Session 1 |
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101 | (1) |
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Handout 5.2 Mindful Parenting |
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102 | (2) |
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Handout 5.3 A Definition of Mindful Parenting |
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104 | (1) |
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Handout 5.4 Bodyscan Meditation |
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105 | (2) |
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Handout 5.5 Practice Record Form Week 1 |
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107 | (1) |
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Handout 5.6 Notes Informal Practice and Mindful Parenting Practice Week 1 |
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108 | (1) |
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6 Session 2: Beginner's Mind Parenting |
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109 | (32) |
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110 | (2) |
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How Does Mindfulness Practice Help with Our Tendency to Label Our Child? |
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112 | (1) |
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Spaciousness and Beginner's Mind parenting |
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113 | (1) |
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How Does Mindfulness Help Us Become More Spacious in Our Experience? |
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114 | (1) |
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115 | (16) |
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116 | (6) |
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2 Observation of Your Child: Child as Raisin Exercise |
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122 | (1) |
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3 Morning Stress from the Perspective of a Friend |
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123 | (2) |
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125 | (1) |
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125 | (2) |
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127 | (1) |
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127 | (2) |
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8 Sitting Meditation: The Breath |
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129 | (1) |
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9 Review of Home Practice for Next Session |
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130 | (1) |
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130 | (1) |
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Handout 6.1 Practice for the Week After Session 2 |
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131 | (1) |
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Handout 6.2 Beginner's Mind Parenting |
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132 | (1) |
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Handout 6.3 The Attitudinal Foundation of Mindfulness Practice |
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133 | (1) |
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Handout 6.4 Mindfulness of Breathing -- Sitting |
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134 | (2) |
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Handout 6.5 Savoring Pleasant Moments Calendar |
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136 | (2) |
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Handout 6.6 Home Practice Record Form Week 2 |
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138 | (1) |
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Handout 6.7 Notes Informal Practice and Mindful Parenting Practice Week 2 |
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139 | (2) |
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7 Session 3: Reconnecting with Our Body as a Parent |
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141 | (34) |
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144 | (1) |
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Bodies and Connecting with Our Child |
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144 | (1) |
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145 | (1) |
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146 | (12) |
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1 Sitting Meditation: Breath and Physical Sensations |
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146 | (3) |
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2 Home Practice Review: Savoring Pleasant Moments |
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149 | (1) |
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150 | (1) |
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4 Other Home Practice Review |
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151 | (1) |
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152 | (1) |
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6 Yoga (Lying and Sitting) |
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152 | (1) |
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7 Watching the Body During Parenting Stress |
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153 | (1) |
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8 Parenting Stress: Bringing Kindness to Ourselves |
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154 | (3) |
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9 Review of Home Practice |
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157 | (1) |
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157 | (1) |
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Handout 7.1 Practice for the Week After Session 3 |
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158 | (1) |
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Handout 7.2 Watching the Body During Parenting Stress |
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159 | (2) |
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Handout 7.3 Compassion with Yourself as Parent |
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161 | (2) |
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Handout 7.4 Sitting Mediation: Mindfulness of the Breath and Body |
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163 | (2) |
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Handout 7.5 3-Min Breathing Space |
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165 | (1) |
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Handout 7.6 Mindful Yoga Instructions |
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166 | (2) |
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Handout 7.7 Lying Yoga Postures |
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168 | (3) |
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Handout 7.8 Stressful Moments Calendar |
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171 | (2) |
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Handout 7.9 Home Practice Record Form Week 3 |
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173 | (1) |
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Handout 7.10 Notes Informal Practice and Mindful Parenting Practice Week 3 |
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174 | (1) |
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8 Session 4: Responding Versus Reacting to Parenting Stress |
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175 | (30) |
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177 | (1) |
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178 | (1) |
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179 | (11) |
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1 Sitting Meditation, Adding Meditation to Sounds and Thoughts |
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180 | (1) |
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181 | (1) |
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3 Discussion of Stressful Parenting Event in Dyads |
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181 | (1) |
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4 Grasping and Pushing Away |
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181 | (1) |
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5 Demonstration Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Dance |
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182 | (1) |
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6 Group Discussion of Further Home Practice |
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183 | (1) |
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7 3-Min Breathing Space Under Stress |
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184 | (1) |
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185 | (1) |
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9 Imagination: Awareness and Acceptance of Stress Using the Breathing Space and Doors |
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185 | (3) |
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188 | (1) |
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188 | (1) |
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12 Review of Home Practice |
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189 | (1) |
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Handout 8.1 Practice for the Week After Session 4 |
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190 | (1) |
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191 | (2) |
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Handout 8.3 Staying Present with Parental Stress |
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193 | (2) |
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Handout 8.4 A Zen Koan for Parents |
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195 | (1) |
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Handout 8.5 Mindfulness of Hearing and Thinking |
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196 | (2) |
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Handout 8.6 Standing Yoga Postures |
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198 | (3) |
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Handout 8.7 Parental Stress Calendar: Breathing Space |
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201 | (1) |
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Handout 8.8 Home Practice Record from Week 4 |
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202 | (1) |
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Handout 8.9 Notes Informal Practice and Mindful Parenting Practice Week 4 |
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203 | (2) |
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9 Session 5: Parenting Patterns and Schemas |
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205 | (24) |
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Effects of Our Own Childhood Experience on Parenting |
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207 | (1) |
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207 | (1) |
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208 | (1) |
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How Does Mindfulness Help with Schema Modes? |
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209 | (1) |
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209 | (9) |
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1 Sitting Meditation Including Emotions |
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210 | (1) |
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2 Discussing Home Practice |
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211 | (1) |
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3 Reactive Parenting and Schema Modes |
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211 | (3) |
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214 | (1) |
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214 | (1) |
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6 Walking Meditation Inside |
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214 | (2) |
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216 | (1) |
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8 Review of Home Practice |
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217 | (1) |
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Handout 9.1 Practice for the Week After Session 5 |
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218 | (1) |
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Handout 9.2 Reactive Parenting and Schema Modes |
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219 | (2) |
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Handout 9.3 Sitting with Emotions |
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221 | (1) |
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Handout 9.4 Holding Your Anger as If It Were Your Baby |
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222 | (1) |
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Handout 9.5 Mindful Walking |
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223 | (2) |
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Handout 9.6 Parental Stress Calendar: Schema Mode Recognition |
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225 | (2) |
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Handout 9.7 Home Practice Record Form Week 5 |
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227 | (1) |
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Handout 9.8 Notes Informal Practice and Mindful Parenting Practice Week 5 |
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228 | (1) |
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10 Session 6: Conflict and Parenting |
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229 | (18) |
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233 | (7) |
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1 Sitting Meditation, with Choiceless Awareness |
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233 | (2) |
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2 Review of Home Practice in Pairs |
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235 | (1) |
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3 Group Discussion of Home Practice |
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235 | (1) |
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4 Walking Meditation Outside |
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236 | (1) |
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237 | (1) |
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6 Perspective Taking, Repair |
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237 | (2) |
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7 Review of Home Practice |
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239 | (1) |
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8 Reading a Poem: Autobiography in Five Chapters |
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239 | (1) |
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Handout 10.1 Practice for the Week After Session 6 |
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240 | (1) |
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Handout 10.2 Stress and Perspective Taking |
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241 | (1) |
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Handout 10.3 Rupture and Repair |
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242 | (1) |
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Handout 10.4 Mindfulness Day at Home |
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243 | (2) |
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Handout 10.5 Home Practice Record Form Week 6 |
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245 | (1) |
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Handout 10.6 Notes Informal Practice and Mindful Parenting Practice Week 6 |
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246 | (1) |
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11 Session 7: Love and Limits: Cultivating Compassion and Setting Limits |
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247 | (40) |
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Mindfulness: Wisdom and Compassion |
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249 | (1) |
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250 | (1) |
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Loving-Kindness or Metta Practice |
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251 | (3) |
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254 | (2) |
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256 | (2) |
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Awareness of Our Own Limits |
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258 | (1) |
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Recognizing Our Heritage from Our Parents |
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259 | (1) |
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Here and Now Awareness During Limit Setting |
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259 | (1) |
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Holding Our Own Experience, Holding Our Child's Experience |
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260 | (1) |
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260 | (1) |
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261 | (12) |
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1 Loving-Kindness Meditation |
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261 | (6) |
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2 Review of Home Practice in Pairs |
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267 | (1) |
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3 Review of Rupture and Repair Home Practice |
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267 | (1) |
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4 Review of Mindfulness Day |
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268 | (1) |
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268 | (1) |
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269 | (1) |
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269 | (2) |
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271 | (1) |
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9 Review of Home Practice |
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272 | (1) |
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272 | (1) |
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Handout 11.1 Practice for the Week After Session 7 |
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273 | (2) |
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Handout 11.2 Loving-Kindness Meditation: Basic Instructions |
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275 | (2) |
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Handout 11.3 Variations of Loving-kindness Meditation |
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277 | (1) |
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Handout 11.4 The Mind of Love |
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278 | (1) |
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Handout 11.5 What Do I Need? |
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279 | (1) |
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Handout 11.6 Acceptance and Limits |
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280 | (2) |
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282 | (1) |
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Handout 11.8 Personal Learning Process |
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283 | (1) |
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Handout 11.9 Home Practice Record Form Week 7 |
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284 | (1) |
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Handout 11.10 Notes Informal Practice and Mindful Parenting Practice Week 7 |
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285 | (2) |
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12 Session 8: Are We There Yet? A Mindful Path Through Parenting |
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287 | (14) |
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288 | (7) |
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289 | (1) |
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2 Review of Home Practice |
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289 | (1) |
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290 | (1) |
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4 Meditation on What Has Been Learned |
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290 | (1) |
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5 Meditation Plan for the Next 8 Weeks |
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291 | (1) |
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291 | (1) |
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7 Process Descriptions with Objects |
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291 | (3) |
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8 Reading Some Suggestions for Everyday Mindful Parenting |
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294 | (1) |
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294 | (1) |
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294 | (1) |
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Handout 12.1 Some Suggestions for Everyday Mindful Parenting |
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295 | (2) |
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Handout 12.2 Personal Meditation Plan for the Next 8 Weeks, Until We Meet Again |
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297 | (1) |
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Handout 12.3 Evaluation of the Mindful Parenting Course and Personal Change |
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298 | (3) |
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13 Follow-Up Session: Each Time, Beginning Anew |
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301 | (8) |
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Guidelines for the Follow-up Session |
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302 | (7) |
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302 | (1) |
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2 Sharing of Experience of Last 8 Weeks (in Pairs) |
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303 | (1) |
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3 Group Sharing of Last 8 Weeks |
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303 | (1) |
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4 Mountain Meditation for Parents |
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304 | (1) |
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305 | (1) |
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306 | (1) |
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306 | (3) |
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14 Voices of the Parents: Life After the Mindful Parenting Course |
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309 | (6) |
References |
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315 | (8) |
About the Authors |
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323 | (2) |
Index |
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325 | |