| Preface |
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xi | |
| Acknowledgments |
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xiii | |
| Introduction |
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xv | |
| Emotional Neglect Questionnaire |
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xx | |
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1 | (68) |
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Chapter 1 Why Wasn't the Tank Filled? |
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3 | (10) |
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The Ordinary Healthy Parent in Action |
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5 | (8) |
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Chapter 2 Twelve Ways to End up Empty |
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13 | (56) |
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Type 1 The Narcissistic Parent |
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14 | (5) |
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Type 2 The Authoritarian Parent |
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19 | (5) |
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Type 3 The Permissive Parent |
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24 | (6) |
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Type 4 The Bereaved Parent: Divorced or Widowed |
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30 | (5) |
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Type 5 The Addicted Parent |
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35 | (5) |
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Type 6 The Depressed Parent |
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40 | (3) |
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Type 7 The Workaholic Parent |
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43 | (4) |
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Type 8 The Parent with a Special Needs Family Member |
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47 | (4) |
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Type 9 The Achievement/Perfection Focused Parent |
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51 | (5) |
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Type 10 The Sociopathic Parent |
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56 | (6) |
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62 | (3) |
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Type 12 The Well-Meaning-hut-Neglected-Themselves Parent |
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65 | (4) |
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69 | (46) |
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Chapter 3 The Neglected Child, All Grown Up |
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71 | (32) |
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73 | (4) |
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77 | (3) |
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3 Unrealistic Self-Appraisal |
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80 | (4) |
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4 No Compassion fir Self, Plenty fir Others |
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84 | (2) |
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5 Guilt and Shame: What is Wrong with Me? |
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86 | (3) |
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6 Self-Directed Anger, Self-Blame |
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89 | (1) |
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7 The Fatal Flaw (If People Really Know Me They Won't Like Me) |
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90 | (2) |
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8 Difficulty Nurturing Self and Others |
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92 | (2) |
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94 | (4) |
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98 | (5) |
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Chapter 4 Cognitive Secrets: The Special Problem of Suicidal Feelings |
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103 | (12) |
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PART III FILLING THE TANK |
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115 | (83) |
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Chapter 5 How Change Happens |
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117 | (3) |
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Factors That Get in the Way of Successful Change |
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118 | (2) |
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Chapter 6 Why Feelings Matter and What to Do with Them |
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120 | (18) |
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1 Understanding the purpose and value of your emotions |
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120 | (2) |
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2 Identifying and Naming Your Feelings |
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122 | (1) |
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3 Learning to Self-Monitor Your Feelings |
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123 | (4) |
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4 Accepting and Trusting Your Own Feelings |
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127 | (2) |
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5 Learning to Express Your Feelings Effectively |
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129 | (2) |
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6 Recognizing, Understanding and Valuing Emotions in Relationships |
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131 | (7) |
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138 | (40) |
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Self-Care Part 1 Learning to Nurture Yourself |
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139 | (25) |
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Self Care Part 2 Improving Self Discipline |
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164 | (4) |
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Self-Care Part 3 Self-Soothing |
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168 | (5) |
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Self-Care Part 4 Having Compassion fir Yourself |
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173 | (5) |
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Chapter 8 Ending the Cycle: Giving Your Child What You Never Got |
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178 | (18) |
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179 | (1) |
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2 The Changes You Have Made So Far |
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180 | (1) |
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3 Identify Your Own Specific Parenting Challenges |
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181 | (15) |
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Chapter 9 For the Therapist |
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196 | (2) |
| Research |
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198 | (4) |
| Identification of Emotional Neglect |
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202 | (4) |
| Treatment |
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206 | (7) |
| Summary for the Therapist |
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213 | (1) |
| Conclusion |
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213 | (2) |
| Resources for Recovery |
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215 | (12) |
| References |
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227 | |