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E-raamat: Boosting Self-Esteem For Dummies

(The Priory Clinic), (The Priory Clinic)
  • Formaat: EPUB+DRM
  • Ilmumisaeg: 13-Jan-2011
  • Kirjastus: For Dummies
  • Keel: eng
  • ISBN-13: 9781119996903
  • Formaat - EPUB+DRM
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  • Formaat: EPUB+DRM
  • Ilmumisaeg: 13-Jan-2011
  • Kirjastus: For Dummies
  • Keel: eng
  • ISBN-13: 9781119996903

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Boosting Self-Esteem for Dummies Learn to:





Leave behind negative modes of thinking



Understand the psychology of self-esteem



Use a variety of effective techniques to build self-esteem for a happier and healthier life



Give yourself a boost with cognitive behavioural therapy





Cognitive behavioural therapists

Rethink your self-image and be comfortable in your own skin

Fact: even individuals who radiate confidence on the outside can still have low self-esteem. Whether you're someone who puts on a front or a shy, retiring type who frets about what other people think, this practical guide can help you to conquer insecurities, get assertive and let your inner strength shine through. So what are you waiting for?





Understand the theories get to grips with what self-esteem means and how it affects your outlook



Be honest with yourself acknowledge your best bits (and your limitations) and identify the positive effects of your thoughts and actions



Discover boosting techniques banish feelings of inadequacy by indulging in exercises and hobbies that exhilarate you



Give other people a break understand when a compliment is a compliment and take criticism constructively



Go all-out reassess your day-to-day priorities and map out what you really want from life





Open the book and find:





Strategies for getting to the bottom of the real you



Effective ways to record fluctuating moods and feelings



CBT techniques for stimulating self-encouragement



Advice on dealing with counter-productive comparisons



Guidance on tackling social phobias, body dysmorphia and eating disorders



Tips on maintaining self-discipline



How to foster better relationships at home and at work
Introduction 7(2)
About This Book
2(1)
Conventions Used in This Book
3(1)
What You're Not to Read
3(1)
Foolish Assumptions
4(1)
How This Book Is Organised
4(2)
Part I Understanding Self-Esteem
4(1)
Part II Acknowledging That You're Okay As You Are
5(1)
Part III Taking On New Techniques
5(1)
Part IV Looking at the Ripple Effects of Low Self-Esteem
5(1)
Part V Living Like You Mean It
6(1)
Part VI The Part of Tens
6(1)
Appendix
6(1)
Icons Used in This Book
6(1)
Where to Go from Here
7(2)
Part I Understanding Self-Esteem
9(50)
Chapter 1 Explaining Self-Esteem
11(12)
Defining Healthy Self-Esteem
12(1)
Considering common foundations for self-esteem
12(1)
Rejecting futile strategies for improvement
13(1)
Knowing You're in Charge of Your Self-Esteem
13(4)
Giving up the rating game
14(2)
Recognising the vibrant ever-changing you
16(1)
I'm Okay and You're Not So Bad Yourself
17(1)
Living with Your Limitations
18(3)
Appraising your attributes
19(1)
Managing making mistakes
20(1)
Respecting Your Own Judgement
21(2)
Getting vocal
21(1)
Putting your peers' opinions into perspective
22(1)
Chapter 2 Exploring the Effects of Low Self-Esteem
23(22)
Looking at the Many Ways Low Self-Esteem Can Manifest
24(14)
Digging out depression
24(3)
Grappling with grief
27(4)
Sussing out social phobia
31(2)
Busting body-image problems
33(2)
Exorcising eating disorders
35(3)
Examining Excruciating Emotions
38(7)
Shooting down shame
38(3)
Eroding embarrassment
41(1)
Gouging out guilt
41(2)
Feeling the burn of blushing
43(2)
Chapter 3 Working Out Your Self-Worth
45(14)
Figuring Out What Makes You Worthwhile
46(8)
Digging into domains
46(5)
Combating common criteria of worth
51(2)
Casting a critical eye over your own worth criteria
53(1)
Judging How to Judge Success
54(5)
Living up to your potential or not
55(1)
Building a baseline
55(1)
Thinking globally and acting locally
56(3)
Part II Acknowledging That You're Okay As You Are
59(80)
Chapter 4 Judging Yourself Compassionately, Accurately and Objectively
61(16)
Getting Good at Going for the Specifics
62(6)
Accurately assessing your actions
62(2)
Making individual judgements
64(2)
Washing your mouth out with soap
66(2)
Knowing Your Role and Knowing Your Whole
68(9)
Being bad at one thing
73(1)
Being good at one thing
74(1)
Allowing for variations
75(2)
Chapter 5 Finding a Functional Focus
77(12)
Retraining Your Attention
77(7)
Giving negative thoughts the cold shoulder
81(2)
Practising re-focusing
83(1)
Making Yourself More Mindful
84(5)
Being present and attentive
85(1)
Being sceptical about the truth of your thoughts
85(2)
Becoming a casual observer
87(2)
Chapter 6 Becoming Comfortable with Who You Are
89(22)
Wearing the Skin You're In
90(2)
Getting to know you
90(2)
Getting to like you
92(1)
Getting Better at Being Good Enough
92(6)
Enjoying being average
93(3)
Enjoying being outstandingly ordinary
96(1)
Rejoicing in regularity
96(1)
Discovering the treasures hidden in the tedium
97(1)
Confronting Compensatory Strategies
98(11)
Getting honest about what you do to protect your ego
99(5)
Coping with social anxiety
104(4)
Fending off the fear of negative evaluation
108(1)
Dropping Reservations about Liking Who You Are
109(2)
Chapter 7 Building a Better Body Image
111(14)
Looking in the Mirror (or Not!)
111(5)
Discovering how to like what you see
113(2)
Ceasing counter-productive comparison
115(1)
Seeing Yourself Holistically
116(6)
Accentuating aspects apart from appearance
117(1)
Surmounting selective scrutiny
118(1)
Bearing down on your better points
119(1)
Improving where you can
120(2)
Accepting That You Are Who You Are
122(3)
Deciding to decorate yourself
122(1)
Developing deeper interests
122(3)
Chapter 8 Spotlighting Personal Development
125(14)
Setting Sensible Goals
126(3)
Getting to grips with goal-orientated behaviour
127(1)
Setting target dates milestones
128(1)
Weighing the Costs and Benefits
129(5)
Keeping track of your progress
132(1)
Dealing with downfalls
133(1)
Identifying Inspirational Role Models
134(5)
Finding a person to imitate
134(1)
Pinpointing what you admire
134(2)
Thinking about how they do it
136(2)
Copying shamelessly
138(1)
Part III Taking On New Techniques
139(70)
Chapter 9 Speaking the Language of Love
141(20)
Being Your Own Best Friend
142(10)
Supporting yourself emotionally
146(4)
Letting others help
150(1)
Seeking support from the right sources
150(2)
Outlawing Loathsome Language
152(2)
Getting Your Hands Dirty
154(2)
Letting loose and enjoying yourself
154(1)
Taking risks
155(1)
Nurturing Yourself
156(5)
Limiting loneliness
156(1)
Surrounding yourself with smells and bells
157(1)
Practising self-soothing behaviours
157(1)
Keeping yourself fit and well fed
158(1)
Reaping the rewards of relaxation
159(2)
Chapter 10 Rewriting Your Own History
161(30)
Travelling through Time to Find Early Influences
162(4)
Reflecting on family influences
164(2)
Peering into peer group propaganda
166(1)
Assigning Meaning Then and Now
166(4)
Working out what an experience meant then
167(1)
Working out a more accurate meaning now
168(2)
Confronting Core Beliefs
170(13)
Inspecting how beliefs interact
172(1)
Aiming at your own belief dartboard
173(2)
Curtailing negative views of yourself
175(1)
Pinning down your positive points persistently
176(2)
Finding your belief formulation
178(3)
Circumnavigating your negative views of the world
181(1)
Capsizing your negative view of others
181(1)
Charting new territory
182(1)
Adopting Updated Attitudes
183(8)
Structuring a suitable `soundbite'
184(1)
Moving meaning from head to heart
185(3)
Being selective about the company you keep
188(3)
Chapter 11 Proving Your Worth to Yourself
191(18)
Devising Experiments to Improve Your Self-Esteem
191(5)
Looking at experiment basics
192(1)
Setting up your own experiment
193(3)
Putting Your Predictions to the Test
196(13)
Treating your problem `as if' it's something different
196(1)
Freeing up your feelings
197(1)
Running the risk of falling flat on your face
198(2)
Setting down social situation safety behaviours
200(1)
Daring to self-disclose
201(4)
Making things as easy as `ABA'
205(4)
Part IV Looking at the Ripple Effects of Low Self-Esteem
209(36)
Chapter 12 Romancing and Relationships
211(16)
Evaluating the Effects of Low Self-Esteem on Your Relationships
211(9)
Making loved ones pay the toll
213(1)
Making love not war
214(3)
Managing conflict
217(3)
Fostering Friendships
220(1)
Taking a compliment gracefully
220(1)
Getting and giving gifts
221(1)
Terminating Testing
221(6)
Taking others at their word
223(1)
Ceasing seeking reassurance
224(1)
Letting the future unfurl
224(3)
Chapter 13 Working with Others
227(18)
Taking Self-Esteem to Work
227(4)
Presenting yourself positively
229(1)
Talking and walking like a professional
230(1)
Overcoming Defensive Anger
231(2)
Giving others the right to be wrong
232(1)
Giving yourself the right to be wrong
232(1)
Cutting others some slack
232(1)
Feeding Off Feedback
233(4)
Dismissing unproductive feedback
234(2)
Allocating responsibility using a pie chart
236(1)
Incorporating Constructive Criticism
237(2)
Digging out grains of truth
238(1)
Changing for the better
238(1)
Accessing Your Assertiveness
239(6)
Weighing up situations worthy of confrontation
241(2)
Standing up for what you believe in
243(1)
Offering your opinion
244(1)
Part V Living Like You Mean It
245(48)
Chapter 14 Honouring Commitments to Yourself
247(14)
Setting Goals
248(2)
Choosing an area to improve
248(1)
Listing the possibilities
249(1)
Maximising Motivation
250(5)
Structuring a motivation-maximising statement
251(2)
Getting visual
253(1)
Quoting quotable quotes
254(1)
Taking Responsibility
255(2)
Setting Optimum Conditions for Success
257(4)
Chewing off bite-sized chunks
258(1)
Forming a time frame
258(1)
Charting changes
259(2)
Chapter 15 Living According to Your Values
261(14)
Looking at the Deprivations That Low Self-Esteem Causes
262(3)
Taking Stock of Your Values
265(6)
Taking steps to live in line with your values
268(1)
Contributing to the kind of world you want to live in
269(2)
Re-assessing Your Priorities
271(4)
Shifting priorities
271(1)
Conflicting priorities
272(1)
Resolving inconsistencies
272(3)
Chapter 16 Developing Self-Discipline
275(18)
Setting Yourself Up for Success
276(4)
Increasing your self-discipline
276(1)
Allocating time slots for tasks
277(1)
Troubleshooting obstacles
278(1)
Setting the scene
279(1)
Withstanding Your Own Attitudes
280(7)
`I can't stand feeling like this'
281(1)
`I can't resist my cravings and urges'
282(1)
`This is too hard; it should be easier'
282(1)
`This is harder for me than for other people'
283(1)
`It's too boring'
284(1)
`This is too painful'
284(1)
`There must be an easier way'
285(1)
`I want results right now'
286(1)
`I don't want to have to do the same thing over and over again'
286(1)
Paying Attention to Your Progress
287(4)
Taking things one step at a time
287(1)
Making note of small changes
288(1)
Remembering that it's worth doing
289(1)
Being your own cheerleader
290(1)
Offering Yourself Rewards and Penalties
291(2)
Treating yourself
291(1)
Giving yourself a fine
292(1)
Part VI The Part of Tens
293(26)
Chapter 17 Ten Hallmarks of Healthy Self-Esteem
295(8)
Engaging in Vitally Absorbing Activities
295(1)
Being Genuinely Interested in Others
296(1)
Putting Yourself First - and Others a Close Second
296(1)
Taking Personal Responsibility
297(1)
Being a Flexible Thinker
298(1)
Pursuing Personal Goals
299(1)
Allowing Others to Have Their Own Opinions about You
299(1)
Sharing Yourself with Others
300(1)
Getting Grateful
300(1)
Living with Laughter
301(2)
Chapter 18 Ten Habits for Honing Healthy Self-Esteem
303(8)
Resisting Rumination
303(1)
Giving Yourself Credit
304(1)
Treating Yourself with Respect
305(1)
Engaging with Your Environment
306(1)
Investing in Your Relationships
306(1)
Making Time for Your Hobbies
307(1)
Recognising Your Strengths
307(1)
Cherishing Your Uniqueness
308(1)
Being Compassionate towards Others
308(1)
Keeping Yourself Healthy
308(3)
Chapter 19 Ten Ways to Give Your Self-Esteem a Lift
311(8)
Making the Most of Music
311(1)
Reading Books and Stories
312(1)
Reviewing Fantastic Films
313(1)
Mirroring a Role Model
313(1)
Taking Heart from Everyday Occurrences
314(1)
Acting Altruistically
314(1)
Engaging in Spiritual Pursuits
315(1)
Appreciating Art and Culture
315(1)
Enjoying the Great Outdoors
316(1)
Getting Involved in Your Community
316(3)
Appendix: Resources
319(4)
Resources for Professional Help
319(2)
CBT therapists
319(1)
Other therapists
320(1)
Online support
320(1)
Organisations
320(1)
Further Reading
321(2)
Index 323
Rhena Branch and Rob Willson are cognitive behavioural therapists at the Priory Hospital in London, and the authors of the best-selling titles Cognitive Behavioural Therapy For Dummies and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Workbook For Dummies.