Introduction |
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7 | (2) |
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2 | (1) |
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Conventions Used in This Book |
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3 | (1) |
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3 | (1) |
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4 | (1) |
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How This Book Is Organised |
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4 | (2) |
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Part I Understanding Self-Esteem |
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4 | (1) |
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Part II Acknowledging That You're Okay As You Are |
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5 | (1) |
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Part III Taking On New Techniques |
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5 | (1) |
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Part IV Looking at the Ripple Effects of Low Self-Esteem |
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5 | (1) |
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Part V Living Like You Mean It |
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6 | (1) |
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6 | (1) |
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6 | (1) |
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6 | (1) |
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7 | (2) |
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Part I Understanding Self-Esteem |
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9 | (50) |
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Chapter 1 Explaining Self-Esteem |
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11 | (12) |
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Defining Healthy Self-Esteem |
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12 | (1) |
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Considering common foundations for self-esteem |
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12 | (1) |
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Rejecting futile strategies for improvement |
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13 | (1) |
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Knowing You're in Charge of Your Self-Esteem |
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13 | (4) |
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Giving up the rating game |
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14 | (2) |
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Recognising the vibrant ever-changing you |
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16 | (1) |
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I'm Okay and You're Not So Bad Yourself |
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17 | (1) |
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Living with Your Limitations |
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18 | (3) |
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Appraising your attributes |
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19 | (1) |
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20 | (1) |
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Respecting Your Own Judgement |
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21 | (2) |
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21 | (1) |
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Putting your peers' opinions into perspective |
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22 | (1) |
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Chapter 2 Exploring the Effects of Low Self-Esteem |
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23 | (22) |
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Looking at the Many Ways Low Self-Esteem Can Manifest |
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24 | (14) |
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24 | (3) |
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27 | (4) |
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Sussing out social phobia |
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31 | (2) |
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Busting body-image problems |
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33 | (2) |
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Exorcising eating disorders |
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35 | (3) |
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Examining Excruciating Emotions |
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38 | (7) |
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38 | (3) |
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41 | (1) |
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41 | (2) |
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Feeling the burn of blushing |
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43 | (2) |
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Chapter 3 Working Out Your Self-Worth |
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45 | (14) |
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Figuring Out What Makes You Worthwhile |
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46 | (8) |
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46 | (5) |
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Combating common criteria of worth |
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51 | (2) |
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Casting a critical eye over your own worth criteria |
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53 | (1) |
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Judging How to Judge Success |
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54 | (5) |
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Living up to your potential or not |
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55 | (1) |
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55 | (1) |
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Thinking globally and acting locally |
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56 | (3) |
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Part II Acknowledging That You're Okay As You Are |
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59 | (80) |
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Chapter 4 Judging Yourself Compassionately, Accurately and Objectively |
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61 | (16) |
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Getting Good at Going for the Specifics |
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62 | (6) |
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Accurately assessing your actions |
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62 | (2) |
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Making individual judgements |
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64 | (2) |
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Washing your mouth out with soap |
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66 | (2) |
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Knowing Your Role and Knowing Your Whole |
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68 | (9) |
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73 | (1) |
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74 | (1) |
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75 | (2) |
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Chapter 5 Finding a Functional Focus |
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77 | (12) |
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Retraining Your Attention |
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77 | (7) |
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Giving negative thoughts the cold shoulder |
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81 | (2) |
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83 | (1) |
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Making Yourself More Mindful |
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84 | (5) |
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Being present and attentive |
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85 | (1) |
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Being sceptical about the truth of your thoughts |
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85 | (2) |
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Becoming a casual observer |
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87 | (2) |
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Chapter 6 Becoming Comfortable with Who You Are |
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89 | (22) |
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Wearing the Skin You're In |
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90 | (2) |
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90 | (2) |
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92 | (1) |
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Getting Better at Being Good Enough |
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92 | (6) |
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93 | (3) |
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Enjoying being outstandingly ordinary |
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96 | (1) |
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96 | (1) |
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Discovering the treasures hidden in the tedium |
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97 | (1) |
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Confronting Compensatory Strategies |
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98 | (11) |
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Getting honest about what you do to protect your ego |
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99 | (5) |
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Coping with social anxiety |
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104 | (4) |
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Fending off the fear of negative evaluation |
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108 | (1) |
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Dropping Reservations about Liking Who You Are |
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109 | (2) |
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Chapter 7 Building a Better Body Image |
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111 | (14) |
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Looking in the Mirror (or Not!) |
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111 | (5) |
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Discovering how to like what you see |
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113 | (2) |
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Ceasing counter-productive comparison |
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115 | (1) |
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Seeing Yourself Holistically |
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116 | (6) |
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Accentuating aspects apart from appearance |
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117 | (1) |
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Surmounting selective scrutiny |
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118 | (1) |
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Bearing down on your better points |
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119 | (1) |
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120 | (2) |
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Accepting That You Are Who You Are |
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122 | (3) |
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Deciding to decorate yourself |
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122 | (1) |
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Developing deeper interests |
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122 | (3) |
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Chapter 8 Spotlighting Personal Development |
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125 | (14) |
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126 | (3) |
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Getting to grips with goal-orientated behaviour |
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127 | (1) |
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Setting target dates milestones |
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128 | (1) |
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Weighing the Costs and Benefits |
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129 | (5) |
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Keeping track of your progress |
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132 | (1) |
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133 | (1) |
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Identifying Inspirational Role Models |
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134 | (5) |
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Finding a person to imitate |
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134 | (1) |
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Pinpointing what you admire |
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134 | (2) |
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Thinking about how they do it |
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136 | (2) |
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138 | (1) |
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Part III Taking On New Techniques |
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139 | (70) |
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Chapter 9 Speaking the Language of Love |
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141 | (20) |
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Being Your Own Best Friend |
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142 | (10) |
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Supporting yourself emotionally |
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146 | (4) |
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150 | (1) |
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Seeking support from the right sources |
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150 | (2) |
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Outlawing Loathsome Language |
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152 | (2) |
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154 | (2) |
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Letting loose and enjoying yourself |
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154 | (1) |
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155 | (1) |
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156 | (5) |
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156 | (1) |
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Surrounding yourself with smells and bells |
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157 | (1) |
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Practising self-soothing behaviours |
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157 | (1) |
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Keeping yourself fit and well fed |
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158 | (1) |
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Reaping the rewards of relaxation |
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159 | (2) |
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Chapter 10 Rewriting Your Own History |
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161 | (30) |
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Travelling through Time to Find Early Influences |
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162 | (4) |
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Reflecting on family influences |
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164 | (2) |
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Peering into peer group propaganda |
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166 | (1) |
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Assigning Meaning Then and Now |
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166 | (4) |
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Working out what an experience meant then |
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167 | (1) |
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Working out a more accurate meaning now |
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168 | (2) |
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170 | (13) |
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Inspecting how beliefs interact |
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172 | (1) |
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Aiming at your own belief dartboard |
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173 | (2) |
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Curtailing negative views of yourself |
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175 | (1) |
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Pinning down your positive points persistently |
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176 | (2) |
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Finding your belief formulation |
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178 | (3) |
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Circumnavigating your negative views of the world |
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181 | (1) |
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Capsizing your negative view of others |
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181 | (1) |
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182 | (1) |
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Adopting Updated Attitudes |
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183 | (8) |
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Structuring a suitable `soundbite' |
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184 | (1) |
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Moving meaning from head to heart |
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185 | (3) |
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Being selective about the company you keep |
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188 | (3) |
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Chapter 11 Proving Your Worth to Yourself |
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191 | (18) |
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Devising Experiments to Improve Your Self-Esteem |
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191 | (5) |
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Looking at experiment basics |
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192 | (1) |
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Setting up your own experiment |
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193 | (3) |
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Putting Your Predictions to the Test |
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196 | (13) |
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Treating your problem `as if' it's something different |
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196 | (1) |
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197 | (1) |
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Running the risk of falling flat on your face |
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198 | (2) |
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Setting down social situation safety behaviours |
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200 | (1) |
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201 | (4) |
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Making things as easy as `ABA' |
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205 | (4) |
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Part IV Looking at the Ripple Effects of Low Self-Esteem |
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209 | (36) |
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Chapter 12 Romancing and Relationships |
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211 | (16) |
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Evaluating the Effects of Low Self-Esteem on Your Relationships |
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211 | (9) |
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Making loved ones pay the toll |
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213 | (1) |
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214 | (3) |
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217 | (3) |
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220 | (1) |
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Taking a compliment gracefully |
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220 | (1) |
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221 | (1) |
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221 | (6) |
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Taking others at their word |
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223 | (1) |
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Ceasing seeking reassurance |
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224 | (1) |
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Letting the future unfurl |
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224 | (3) |
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Chapter 13 Working with Others |
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227 | (18) |
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Taking Self-Esteem to Work |
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227 | (4) |
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Presenting yourself positively |
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229 | (1) |
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Talking and walking like a professional |
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230 | (1) |
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Overcoming Defensive Anger |
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231 | (2) |
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Giving others the right to be wrong |
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232 | (1) |
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Giving yourself the right to be wrong |
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232 | (1) |
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Cutting others some slack |
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232 | (1) |
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233 | (4) |
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Dismissing unproductive feedback |
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234 | (2) |
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Allocating responsibility using a pie chart |
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236 | (1) |
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Incorporating Constructive Criticism |
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237 | (2) |
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Digging out grains of truth |
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238 | (1) |
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238 | (1) |
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Accessing Your Assertiveness |
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239 | (6) |
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Weighing up situations worthy of confrontation |
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241 | (2) |
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Standing up for what you believe in |
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243 | (1) |
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244 | (1) |
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Part V Living Like You Mean It |
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245 | (48) |
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Chapter 14 Honouring Commitments to Yourself |
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247 | (14) |
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248 | (2) |
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Choosing an area to improve |
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248 | (1) |
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Listing the possibilities |
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249 | (1) |
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250 | (5) |
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Structuring a motivation-maximising statement |
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251 | (2) |
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253 | (1) |
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254 | (1) |
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255 | (2) |
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Setting Optimum Conditions for Success |
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257 | (4) |
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Chewing off bite-sized chunks |
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258 | (1) |
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258 | (1) |
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259 | (2) |
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Chapter 15 Living According to Your Values |
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261 | (14) |
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Looking at the Deprivations That Low Self-Esteem Causes |
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262 | (3) |
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Taking Stock of Your Values |
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265 | (6) |
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Taking steps to live in line with your values |
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268 | (1) |
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Contributing to the kind of world you want to live in |
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269 | (2) |
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Re-assessing Your Priorities |
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271 | (4) |
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271 | (1) |
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272 | (1) |
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Resolving inconsistencies |
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272 | (3) |
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Chapter 16 Developing Self-Discipline |
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275 | (18) |
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Setting Yourself Up for Success |
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276 | (4) |
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Increasing your self-discipline |
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276 | (1) |
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Allocating time slots for tasks |
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277 | (1) |
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Troubleshooting obstacles |
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278 | (1) |
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279 | (1) |
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Withstanding Your Own Attitudes |
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280 | (7) |
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`I can't stand feeling like this' |
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281 | (1) |
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`I can't resist my cravings and urges' |
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282 | (1) |
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`This is too hard; it should be easier' |
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282 | (1) |
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`This is harder for me than for other people' |
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283 | (1) |
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284 | (1) |
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284 | (1) |
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`There must be an easier way' |
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285 | (1) |
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`I want results right now' |
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286 | (1) |
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`I don't want to have to do the same thing over and over again' |
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286 | (1) |
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Paying Attention to Your Progress |
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287 | (4) |
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Taking things one step at a time |
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287 | (1) |
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Making note of small changes |
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288 | (1) |
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Remembering that it's worth doing |
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289 | (1) |
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Being your own cheerleader |
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290 | (1) |
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Offering Yourself Rewards and Penalties |
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291 | (2) |
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291 | (1) |
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292 | (1) |
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293 | (26) |
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Chapter 17 Ten Hallmarks of Healthy Self-Esteem |
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295 | (8) |
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Engaging in Vitally Absorbing Activities |
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295 | (1) |
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Being Genuinely Interested in Others |
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296 | (1) |
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Putting Yourself First - and Others a Close Second |
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296 | (1) |
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Taking Personal Responsibility |
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297 | (1) |
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298 | (1) |
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299 | (1) |
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Allowing Others to Have Their Own Opinions about You |
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299 | (1) |
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Sharing Yourself with Others |
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300 | (1) |
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300 | (1) |
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301 | (2) |
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Chapter 18 Ten Habits for Honing Healthy Self-Esteem |
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303 | (8) |
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303 | (1) |
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304 | (1) |
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Treating Yourself with Respect |
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305 | (1) |
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Engaging with Your Environment |
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306 | (1) |
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Investing in Your Relationships |
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306 | (1) |
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Making Time for Your Hobbies |
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307 | (1) |
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Recognising Your Strengths |
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307 | (1) |
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Cherishing Your Uniqueness |
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308 | (1) |
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Being Compassionate towards Others |
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308 | (1) |
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308 | (3) |
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Chapter 19 Ten Ways to Give Your Self-Esteem a Lift |
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311 | (8) |
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311 | (1) |
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Reading Books and Stories |
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312 | (1) |
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Reviewing Fantastic Films |
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313 | (1) |
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313 | (1) |
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Taking Heart from Everyday Occurrences |
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314 | (1) |
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314 | (1) |
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Engaging in Spiritual Pursuits |
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315 | (1) |
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Appreciating Art and Culture |
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315 | (1) |
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Enjoying the Great Outdoors |
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316 | (1) |
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Getting Involved in Your Community |
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316 | (3) |
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319 | (4) |
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Resources for Professional Help |
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319 | (2) |
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319 | (1) |
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320 | (1) |
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320 | (1) |
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320 | (1) |
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321 | (2) |
Index |
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323 | |