| Letter to the Reader |
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xiii | |
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Hamburger Casserole for When Nobody Loves You and Never Will |
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1 | (2) |
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Drunk and Disorderly Donut Pudding |
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3 | (2) |
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Baby Won't Stop Crying Nachos Supreme |
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5 | (2) |
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7 | (3) |
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Best Friend is a total Bitch Grilled Cheese Sandwich |
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10 | (3) |
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The Whole Office Read Your Journal Yummy Oatmeal Muffins |
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13 | (4) |
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Worst Date Ever Nutty Cheese Ball |
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17 | (3) |
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Your Brother Really Was Mom's Favorite Peach Pie |
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20 | (2) |
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Failed the GED Creamed Spinach for Idiots |
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22 | (2) |
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You Walked All the Way to Your Office without Realizing Your Skirt Was Tucked into your Underpants Sesame Chicken |
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24 | (2) |
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Your Decor Hasn't Changed Since college Pizza Loaf |
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26 | (2) |
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Sky-High Banana Cream Pie Because You Are Dating a Married Guy |
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28 | (2) |
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Jalapeno Poppers for When your Only Friends are People You Met in a Chat Room |
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30 | (2) |
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32 | (2) |
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Who's the Daddy? Flapjacks |
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34 | (2) |
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Forty Years Old and Fired from Starbucks Chewy Fruit and Nut Cookie Stack |
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36 | (3) |
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Gravy Cheese Fries for a Big Fat Fatty |
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39 | (2) |
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Nobody Thinks You are Funny Orange-Glazed Pork Chops |
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41 | (2) |
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Cocktail Nibbles for Alcoholics |
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43 | (4) |
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Post-traumatic Stress Disorde Sweet Potato Pie |
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47 | (2) |
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Stinking no Good Brokedown Car Buttermilk Fried Chicken |
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49 | (2) |
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Spicy Nuts with Honey `Cause You Married for Money |
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51 | (2) |
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Halloween Costume Proved Offensive to All Your Coworkers Chocolate Smorgasbord |
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53 | (2) |
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Cheese Fondue Becasue Your Therapist Fell Asleep on You |
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55 | (2) |
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Valentine's Day Party Ryes for Divorcees |
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57 | (3) |
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Admonished by Male Stripper for Inappropriate Behavior Tarragon Scrambled Eggs |
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60 | (2) |
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Double Crust Apple Pie for Recreational Bulimics |
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62 | (2) |
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The Slammin' Chick from the Club Was Not at All a Chick Chicken Club |
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64 | (2) |
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You Farted Loudly in the Elevator Green Curry Chicken |
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66 | (2) |
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Breakfast Sandwich for Morning-After Regret |
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68 | (3) |
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Totally Bowlegged Double Deviled Egg(ed) Salad |
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71 | (2) |
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Staying Together for the Children Chicken Tetrazzini |
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73 | (2) |
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¡El Chupacabra Ate All the Chickens! Chimichanga |
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75 | (2) |
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Cereal Snack for Aging Potheads |
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77 | (2) |
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You Saw a Group of Girls You Went to High School with at a Restaurant and you Were Their Waitress Chipotle Beans and Rice |
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79 | (2) |
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Moving to Russia to Look for Work Chocobanbutt Panini |
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81 | (2) |
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Cinnamon-Spiced Apple Fritter for When Your Husband Ran Off with the Babysitter |
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83 | (3) |
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Chicken Teriyaki for When Your Career in Advertising Has Destroyed Your Soul |
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86 | (2) |
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Manic-Depressive Brownies, Two Ways! |
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88 | (4) |
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Postpartum Potato Pierogies |
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92 | (2) |
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94 | (2) |
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Emergency Food Source for Plane-Crash Survivors |
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96 | (2) |
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Caught Mom and Dad in the Act Tater Tot Casserole |
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98 | (2) |
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100 | (2) |
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Mom's Old-Fashioned Chicken Noodle Soup for Closet Cases |
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102 | (2) |
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You Got Drunk and Called Your Friend a Slut in Front of Her Father Cheeseburger Soup |
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104 | (2) |
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Perfect Mashed Potatoes for Disappointed Parents |
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106 | (2) |
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108 | (2) |
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You Were a Bully in Middle School Banana Bread |
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110 | (2) |
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Your Marriage Is a Disaster Sicilian Lasagna |
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112 | (3) |
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You Are Going to [ Verb] [ Person] for [ Adverb] [ Verb] Your [ Noun] Twice-Baked Potatoes |
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115 | (2) |
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Little Sister Earns More than You Ham and Cheese Toastie |
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117 | (2) |
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He Only Married You for His Green Card Chicken Salad |
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119 | (2) |
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Stir-Fry for Stretch marks |
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121 | (2) |
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123 | (2) |
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Hardtack for Lonely Seamen on Whaling Vessels |
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125 | (2) |
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Left at the Altar Petits-Fours Log |
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127 | (2) |
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Pepperoni Pizza for Agoraphobes |
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129 | (3) |
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Reluctant Breadwinner's Quiche for Resentful Wives of Stay-at-Home Dads |
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132 | (1) |
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Rejected by Skidmore and That Was Your Safety School Chicken Fried Steak |
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132 | (5) |
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Your Birthday Is September 11 Chocolate Mud Cake |
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137 | (3) |
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It's Time to Settle Spaghetti Carbonara for Women in Their ``Thirties'' |
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140 | (2) |
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You Are Overqualified for Your Job and They Make You Get the Donuts Super Veggie Dog |
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142 | (2) |
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Not Even a Total Loser Would Sleep with You Oatmeal Cookies |
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144 | (2) |
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146 | (2) |
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Found Out Your Birth Mother Was a Carney Hot Beef Sundae |
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148 | (2) |
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Salmon Rushdie Fatwa Surprise |
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150 | (2) |
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He Likes Your Roommate Key Lime Pie |
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152 | (2) |
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Accidentally Joined the PTA Perfect Potluck Baked Ziti |
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154 | (3) |
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157 | (2) |
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Home Fries for the Uninsured |
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159 | (2) |
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Slept with Your Professor and He Still Gave You a D Baked Brie |
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161 | (2) |
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Unwanted Pregnancy Kielbasa and Sauerkraut |
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163 | (3) |
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Three-Alarm Chili for Bad Mothers |
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166 | (2) |
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Twenty-nine and Still Can't Pay Your Rent Veggie Sandwich |
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168 | (2) |
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Corn Cake for Indigenous Peoples |
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170 | (3) |
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You Stopped Sleeping with Your Husband Years Ago Provencal Tomato Tartlet |
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173 | (3) |
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Rainbow Sherbet `Cause Your Boss Is a Pervert |
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176 | (2) |
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Evil Stepmother's Rock Candy |
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178 | (2) |
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180 | (2) |
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Dumped on New Year's Eve Meatball Sandwich |
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182 | (2) |
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Ugly Baby Cheese Sandwich |
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184 | (2) |
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186 | (2) |
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188 | (3) |
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191 | (2) |
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He's Better Off without You Linguini with Sun-Dried Tomato Cream Sauce |
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193 | (2) |
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Your Dreams Will Never Come True Hungarian Goulash |
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195 | (3) |
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You Did Not Sign Up for This Crap Crepes Suzette for Wives of Former Bankers |
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198 | (2) |
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Your Dad Is a Scumbag Monkey Bread |
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200 | (2) |
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Hummus for When You Want to Kill Someone |
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202 | (2) |
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Hummus for When You Have Killed Someone |
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204 | (2) |
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Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac `n' Cheese |
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206 | (4) |
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Some places to eat your feelings |
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210 | (2) |
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Some books to read while eating your feelings |
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212 | (2) |
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Some people with whom to eat your feelings |
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214 | (2) |
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Some music to listen to while eating your feelings |
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216 | (2) |
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Some things to avoid while eating your feelings |
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218 | (3) |
| Acknowledgments |
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221 | (2) |
| Index |
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223 | |
Lisainfo e-raamatute kohta