As a man of color, our image and reputation is everything. I have always kept my personal life and my private life separately. However, when I transitioned into higher education, I saw men who walked like me, talked like me, but also lived their truth in secret like me. It wasn't until I attended a higher education conference where I met this amazing Black man and he told me these words. No matter what you do in this life to thy own self always be true. You have one life, so live it and live it unapologetically. From that moment on, I begin to live my truth. One thing that I have learned is that people will not always respect your choices of how you live your life, however they will respect how you carry yourself when you live the life that you live in a positive light. So today, I am living my life mentoring, coaching, and inspiring the next generation of same gender-living males, because you only have one life to live and you can have it all. Success, love, truth, respect, but most importantly a life free from shame and guilt of denying who you are. Desmond Dunklin
One experience that helped shape my identity as a Black, same-gender-loving male was during the height of the pandemic and quarantining. At that time, everyone was stuck inside, while also seeking community outside of our own minds. I was able to find community and curate a space on the audio app, Clubhouse. I came together with a group of talented Black Queer men to create the group, Black Gay Men Chat! On the app, we were able to educate and highlight the lived experiences of Black SGL men across the world. I tapped into my creativity and my voice in so many ways, by producing multiple projects such as: a talent show through the Black & Gay group, a seductive improv audio show, The Art of Seduction, a shoot your shot show The Black Gay Bachelor, a book club called Reading Rainbow, and facilitating/moderating multiple conversations across the platform (crystal meth in the Black Queer community, Black Gay Fatherhood, Dating Red Flags, etc). This experience shaped my identity because I was able to share/facilitate a space with individuals that were able to challenge me and validate my lived experiences, while bringing new perspectives to the conversations. Our group currently has 7,000+ members and showed me the power and influence that we have as Black Queer people when we come together. I recognize that at times society will not accept us fully which was evident in heterosexual spaces on the app where the expectation was for us to show-up "Black first", but we are full people, and we deserve to share and take up all the space we desire, while standing in all that we are. This experience was empowering, inspiring, and made me feel seen holistically. Sean Rice, Jr.
As a Black gay male, this project holds personal significance for me, providing a rare space to openly communicate, share, and embrace Black, gay, male experiences within higher education. Each section unfolds as an individual narrative, emphasizing the importance of every unique story. Antione D. Tomlin, PhD
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