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xii | |
| Preface |
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xv | |
| Identity-first language |
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xvii | |
| Trigger warnings |
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xviii | |
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1 | (2) |
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2 Mapping experiences of being a diagnosed autistic: more of a doodle than an Ordnance Survey Map |
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3 | (15) |
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3 | (1) |
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2.2 Questioning how to phrase your identification |
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4 | (1) |
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4 | (2) |
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2.4 Thinking about everything over and over again |
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6 | (1) |
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2.5 Have you been being You or have you been being your best impression of Normal? |
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7 | (1) |
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2.6 Paradigms, prejudices and neuro-normative narratives |
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7 | (5) |
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2.7 Wrestling with your own biases, prejudices and stereotypes |
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12 | (6) |
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3 Travelling from autism awareness to autistic identity |
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18 | (16) |
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19 | (1) |
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19 | (5) |
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24 | (1) |
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25 | (1) |
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25 | (3) |
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28 | (6) |
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4 Fragments of difference |
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34 | (4) |
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34 | (1) |
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35 | (1) |
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35 | (1) |
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36 | (1) |
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36 | (1) |
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37 | (1) |
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5 Reflections on difference |
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38 | (6) |
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5.1 Everyone is different |
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38 | (1) |
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5.2 Could things have been different? |
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39 | (1) |
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40 | (4) |
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44 | (13) |
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44 | (1) |
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6.2 The yoghurt conundrum |
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45 | (1) |
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6.3 Scripting conversation |
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46 | (2) |
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48 | (9) |
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7 Moving between difference and awareness |
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57 | (2) |
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57 | (1) |
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7.2 Reflections on awareness |
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58 | (1) |
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59 | (9) |
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59 | (1) |
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60 | (2) |
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62 | (1) |
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63 | (3) |
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8.5 Going to the clinical psychologist |
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66 | (2) |
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68 | (12) |
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69 | (1) |
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70 | (2) |
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72 | (3) |
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9.3.1 Perspective on `success' |
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74 | (1) |
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9.4 Forming relationships |
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75 | (1) |
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75 | (2) |
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9.5.1 Communication in context |
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76 | (1) |
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9.5.2 Communication within relationships |
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76 | (1) |
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9.6 Fixed and focused thinking |
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77 | (1) |
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78 | (2) |
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10 Blog part one: the first weeks after diagnosis |
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80 | (17) |
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81 | (1) |
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82 | (2) |
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84 | (4) |
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10.4 You do not seem autistic |
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88 | (3) |
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10.5 I am autistic: I am English |
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91 | (1) |
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10.6 Hiding in the closet |
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92 | (1) |
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10.7 Even `out' it is still locked inside |
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93 | (3) |
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10.8 I am not right anymore |
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96 | (1) |
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11 Reflecting on the impact of diagnosis on my identity |
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97 | (18) |
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97 | (2) |
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11.2 Say Yes to the Dress |
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99 | (3) |
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100 | (2) |
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11.3 Deficit and pathology |
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102 | (9) |
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111 | (4) |
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12 Blog part two: the first months after diagnosis |
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115 | (18) |
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115 | (2) |
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12.2 Double thinking diminishes me |
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117 | (1) |
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117 | (16) |
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12.3.1 Is my binary thinking right or wrong? |
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118 | (1) |
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12.3.2 So cross I could cry |
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119 | (2) |
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12.3.3 Worn out by wearing so many layers |
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121 | (1) |
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12.3.4 Absence makes the heart grow fonder |
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121 | (1) |
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122 | (4) |
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12.3.6 Barriers between the neurotypical, the self-diagnosed neurodivergent and the professionally diagnosed neurodivergent communities |
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126 | (2) |
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12.3.7 Is my love like your love? |
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128 | (2) |
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12.3.8 Friend or symptom? |
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130 | (3) |
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133 | (25) |
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133 | (7) |
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13.2 Looking forward - acceptance |
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140 | (2) |
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142 | (7) |
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149 | (5) |
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154 | (4) |
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14 Blog part three: half a year after diagnosis |
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158 | (16) |
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14.1 Lacking in the social graces |
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159 | (1) |
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160 | (1) |
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161 | (1) |
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162 | (3) |
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165 | (3) |
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168 | (2) |
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14.7 Ticking the right boxes |
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170 | (2) |
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172 | (2) |
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15 Reflection: history repeating |
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174 | (5) |
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16 Love across a neurodiverse divide (explanations of a photoblog) |
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179 | (13) |
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16.1 An empty space on brand new shelves |
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179 | (1) |
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16.2 A door open, the same door pictured ajar and closed |
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180 | (2) |
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16.3 A screen shot of a WhatsApp message |
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182 | (1) |
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16.4 A tablet mounted on an adjustable stand |
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183 | (1) |
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16.5 Britney's shaven head |
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184 | (1) |
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16.6 An old desktop computer |
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185 | (1) |
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16.7 My reflection in a train vestibule window |
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185 | (1) |
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185 | (1) |
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16.9 A packet of antibiotics |
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186 | (2) |
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16.10 A cartoon of stick men entitled `Call a spade a spade' |
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188 | (1) |
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16.11 Me five months pregnant wearing workout clothing |
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188 | (1) |
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189 | (3) |
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17 Reflection: interoception |
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192 | (12) |
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192 | (3) |
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195 | (1) |
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196 | (2) |
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198 | (2) |
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17.5 An implausible world |
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200 | (4) |
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204 | (28) |
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18.1 Friendships and emotions |
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206 | (9) |
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215 | (1) |
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216 | (10) |
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18.4 Dangers of misinterpretation |
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226 | (3) |
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18.5 The picture of my son and me |
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229 | (3) |
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19 Pregnancy (explanations of a photoblog) |
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232 | (15) |
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19.1 A pack of information about pregnancy |
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232 | (3) |
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235 | (2) |
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19.3 A scrap of paper with a few inadequate notes scrawled upon it |
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237 | (5) |
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19.4 Me with a newborn standing in a beam of sunlight in an orchard outside a small cottage hospital in Germany |
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242 | (5) |
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247 | (14) |
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249 | (12) |
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21 Reflection: recognising the impossibility of change was crucial |
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261 | (3) |
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22 To be identified is our pride |
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264 | (6) |
| Bibliography |
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270 | (28) |
| Notes |
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298 | (2) |
| Index |
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300 | |
Lisainfo e-raamatute kohta